Theres so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. – Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our childrens lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. – Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. – Phyllis Diller
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. – Phyllis Diller