Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler
Wouldnt it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? – Elayne Boosler
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Its a whole different way of thinking. – Elayne Boosler
For me, already being part of a single parent household and knowing it was just me and my mom, youd would wake up times and hope that the next day youd be able to be alongside your mother because she was out trying to make sure that I was taken care of. But all I cared about was her being home. – LeBron James