Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? – Elayne Boosler
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler
Wouldnt it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? – Elayne Boosler