Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? – Elayne Boosler
I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots. – Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didnt have that rule when Jesus was born. – Elayne Boosler
Im from a small town so, like, everyones married with children or about to have children. So its a little hard when you go home and people are like – and thats why people think Im gay – because theyre like Why arent you married? And Im like, it doesnt happen for everyone right off the bat. – Kelly Clarkson