Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didnt have that rule when Jesus was born. – Elayne Boosler
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? – Elayne Boosler
A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we dont know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an oxs or bears, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there. – Meister Eckhart