Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. Thats how rich I want to be. – Rita Rudner
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? – Rita Rudner
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money? – Rita Rudner
I get a lot of return business. I think its all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again. – Rita Rudner