Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. Thats how rich I want to be. – Rita Rudner
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money? – Rita Rudner
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctors office was full of portraits by Picasso. – Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. – Rita Rudner
I hate organized religion. I think you have to love thy neighbor as thyself. I think you have to pick your own God and be true to him. I always say him rather than her. Maybe its because of my generation, but I dont like the idea of a female God. I see God as a benevolent male. – Julia Child