Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. Theyre afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. – Fred Allen
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. – Fred Allen
An actors popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. – Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. – Fred Allen