Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. Theyre afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. – Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. – Fred Allen
The last time I saw him he was walking down lovers lane holding his own hand. – Fred Allen
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. – Fred Allen
My greatest fear is feeling like a professional novelist. Somebody who creates characters, who sits down and has pieces of paper taped to the wall – whats going to happen in this scene, or this act. What I like is for it to be a much more scary, sloppy reflection of who I am. – Jonathan Safran Foer