Sex relieves tension — love causes it. – Woody Allen
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. – Woody Allen

Sex relieves tension — love causes it. – Woody Allen
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. – Woody Allen
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said “No.” – Woody Allen
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. – Woody Allen