I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. – Steven Wright

I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I dont have that much time. – Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. – Steven Wright
The very first time I was on a car in Atlanta, I saw the conductor – all conductors are white – ask a Negro woman to get up and take a seat farther back in order to make a place for a white man. I have also seen white men requested to leave the Negro section of the car. – Ray Stannard Baker
So, I remember when I was a kid, I was waiting for my mom to come home when she was working late, and, you know, I was like, Oh my God, what happened to her? Is she OK? Did something happen to her getting in the car? I was a little kid. But those are actually early onsets of anxiety. – Vinny Guadagnino
