Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mines putting in an express lane. – Ron White
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So thats all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers. – Ron White
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong. – Ron White
I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade — and then try to find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party. – Ron White
For one seldom hears a genuine laugh nowadays, and much of the phraseology of laughter is a mere fashion of speech. There are many people whose sides have never ached from over-indulgence in the outward expression of mirth…. With some persons a wheeze or a chuckle is the utmost they can compass. – “Laughter,” in The Spectator for the week ending Saturday, January 19, 1889