The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesnt have eyeballs or fins. – Dave Barry
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, Including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark. – Dave Barry
Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. – Dave Barry
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. – Dave Barry