The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesnt have eyeballs or fins. – Dave Barry
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. – Dave Barry
Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons. – Dave Barry
Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically. – Dave Barry
I guess as long as people think of me for different ages, Ill trust their opinion. I remember noticing one year that Michelle Monaghan played 34 and 19, so Ive kind of clung to that as my justification that I can be Jake Gyllenhaals wife and a freshman in college in the same year. – Anna Kendrick