The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesnt have eyeballs or fins. – Dave Barry
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another persons plate. – Dave Barry
The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes. – Dave Barry
We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed. – Ellen DeGeneres