Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time. – Erma Bombeck
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. – Erma Bombeck
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. – Erma Bombeck
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.” – Erma Bombeck
Police departments no longer have to pay overtime or divert resources from other projects to find out where an individual goes – all they have to do is place a tracking device on someones car or ask a cell phone company for that individuals location history and the technology does the work for them. – Ron Wyden