You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families arent dying. Theyre merging into big conglomerates. – Erma Bombeck
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. – Erma Bombeck
What were really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? – Erma Bombeck