The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, Why didnt you do that when you were on television? – Conan OBrien
Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says Californias schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. – Conan OBrien
There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized. – Conan OBrien
Every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. – Conan OBrien
Im an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me thats not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver. Thats all I thought about. I worked for a race team when I was 15 and I traveled with them. – Dax Shepard