Mitch Hedberg's Quote - All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hed

Quote by Mitch Hedberg

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. - Mitch Hed

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Rice is great if youre really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. – Mitch Hedberg

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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg

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Im a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someones life. – Mitch Hedberg

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Other Quotes from

funny

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Im one of those hovering mothers and I know its really important to have an independent child, so Im trying to back off, but its hard. I love him so much, and hes so funny and cute to me. – Selma Blair

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This may sound funny, but as much as the Today show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. Id been happy there. I never went into the bosss office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show! – Jane Pauley

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Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On Parks and Rec, weve got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we dont just effuse to one another and be like, Oh, Rob Lowes really funny, if he wasnt. – Chris Pratt

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Its funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy. – Hedy Lamarr

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Random Quotes

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. – Benjamin Franklin

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Imagination has brought mankind through the dark ages to its present state of civilization. Imagination led Columbus to discover America. Imagination led Franklin to discover electricity. – L. Frank Baum

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There is no secret, once we go to qualifying, we all seem to enjoy it. Qualifying is all about putting everything that you have and that the car has in one lap. Its like a rush, I really enjoy that. – Sebastian Vettel

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The most tragic paradox of our time is to be found in the failure of nation-states to recognize the imperatives of internationalism. – Earl Warren

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