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Quote by Mitch Hedberg
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. - Mitch Hed

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, Youre gonna have to move, youre blocking a fire exit. As though if there was a fire, I wasnt gonna run. If youre flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Business
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didnt work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
good
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Its really funny because the same people who loved me as Stringer Bell were the same people that were watching Daddys Little Girls literally in tears. – Idris Elba

Category:
funny

I dont think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students – they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one. – Wendy Liebman

Category:
funny

I actually was class clown, but I dont know how that happened because Ive never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest. – Janeane Garofalo

Category:
funny

Its a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. Its funny and accessible. – Johnny Knoxville

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

The one thing that Im in charge of in this wedding is the food. – Rob Mariano

Category:
wedding

May Heaven be propitious, and smile on the cause of my country. – Zebulon Pike

Category:
smile

If a man dreams that he has committed a sin before which the sun hid his face, it is often safe to conjecture that, in sheer forgetfulness, he wore a red tie, or brown boots with evening dress. – Arthur Machen

Category:
Dreams

Our failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq thus far has been deeply troubling, and our intelligence-gathering process needs thorough and unbiased investigation. – Adam Schiff

Category:
Failure