Mitch Hedberg's Quote - All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hed

Quote by Mitch Hedberg

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. - Mitch Hed

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Yknow, you cant please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show. – Mitch Hedberg

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Im sick of following my dreams. Im just going to ask them where theyre goin, and hook up with them later. – Mitch Hedberg

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Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head aint funny! – Mitch Hedberg

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Other Quotes from

funny

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Its funny how people who aint never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. Its funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, Get up. Whats wrong with you? – Ice Cube

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I turned down Some Like It Hot. See how smart I am? I felt I couldnt bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I dont need to compete with the wardrobe. – Jerry Lewis

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If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. – Logan P. Smith

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One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. Im very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably. – John Hodgman

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Random Quotes

If a man deceives me once, shame on him; if he deceives me twice, shame on me. – Italian Proverb

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Im thinking of a legacy that I can be proud of and wealth that my grandchildren can use to go to college. So world domination – in terms of providing for my family – is absolutely my goal. – Nicki Minaj

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A tool is but the extension of a mans hand, and a machine is but a complex tool. And he that invents a machine augments the power of a man and the well-being of mankind. – Henry Ward Beecher

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We must guard against the overreaching hand of big government trying to take away our freedom. And we must always protect the environment in a manner consistent with our values. – Steve Forbes

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