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Quote by Mitch Hedberg
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. - Mitch Hed

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, Ill never be as good as a wall. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
good
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Im a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someones life. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Life
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Its hard to be funny when you have to be clean. – Mae West

Category:
funny

With Portlandia, I dont think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. Were okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy. – Carrie Brownstein

Category:
funny

Communism is like one big phone company. – Lenny Bruce

Category:
funny

All generalizations are false, including this one. – Mark Twain

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

I have been my own disciple and my own master. And I have been a good disciple but a bad master. – Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Category:
Self-Control

Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ; so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel. Philippians 1:27 – Bible

Category:
Purpose

I dont think any other city in the world… the sun doesnt shine the same way anywhere as it does in New York. And then I guess everyones very good at hanging out. Not in a crazy way, but youre just constantly interacting and learning. – Ben Lovett

Category:
Learning

Knowledge is the consequence of time, and multitude of days are fittest to teach wisdom. – Jeremy Collier

Category:
Knowledge