Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen. – Conan OBrien
Every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. – Conan OBrien

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen. – Conan OBrien
Every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. – Conan OBrien
During last nights debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage. – Conan OBrien
The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said hed like to help, but hes pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. – Conan OBrien
Im glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere. – Dane Cook