Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and whats more life-affirming than cold, hard cash? – Dennis Miller
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. – Dennis Miller
Im a comedian, for Gods sake. Viewers shouldnt trust me. And you know what? Theyre hip enough to know they shouldnt trust me. Im just doing stand-up comedy. – Dennis Miller
I didnt know my Dad – he moved out early. And my moms politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didnt think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. Ive been both in my life. – Dennis Miller
As a game of mingled skill and chance, Billiards stands at the head of what may be called Indoor Athletics. Requiring far less mental exertion than Chess… it provides amusement for the mind, it also affords exercise for the body. – Captain Crawley (George Frederick Pardon, 1824–1884), The Billiard Book, 1