Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they aint got. – Josh Billings
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. – Josh Billings
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. – Josh Billings
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland. – Josh Billings
Comedy can be, especially in a writers room, really aggressive, kind of a very male-dominated room, and it would be hard for women. Its not a nurturing place. Its not like a lot of women are going to say, I cant wait to live that lifestyle and be in a writers room until 2 or 3 a.m. – Ellen DeGeneres