Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about – Robert Benchley
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death. – Robert Benchley
Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. – Robert Benchley
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest. – Robert Benchley