The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest. – Robert Benchley
In America there are two classes of travel — first class, and with children. – Robert Benchley
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. – Robert Benchley
Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. – Robert Benchley
Catalogues of imaginary libraries are an obscure but fruitful area of collecting. The tradition of imaginary books, which exist only within other books, goes back at least to Rabelais, who invented a list of book titles for the Abbey of Saint-Victor in Gargantua and Pantagruel (c.1532). – Emi Hastings, “Catalogues of Imaginary Libraries,” 2014