Marriage has no guarantees. If thats what youre looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed. – Erma Bombeck
As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am. – Erma Bombeck
Ive exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. – Erma Bombeck
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it. – Ellen Goodman