Quote by Demetri Martin
I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big

I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. Id come home and go to church and everybody would say, Oh, my God. Demetri, youre working at the White House. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Home
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Freedom
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I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes youre really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, youre saying: Hope I dont get chased today. Be nice to people in sneakers. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Hope
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Other Quotes from
Trust
category

I trust the people who are working with me. I delegate. – Mario Draghi

Category:
Trust

If global cooling will come soon – scientists will lose trust. – Shigenori Maruyama

Category:
Trust

No, I dont understand my husbands theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be trusted. – Elsa Einstein

Category:
Trust

I dont trust liberals, I trust conservatives. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Category:
Trust

Random Quotes

Education makes us more stupid than the brutes. A thousand voices call to us on every hand, but our ears are stopped with wisdom. – Jean Giraudoux

Category:
Education

I got nothing against no Viet Cong. No Vietnamese ever called me a nigger. – Muhammad Ali, 1967, refusing to fight in Vietnam

Category:
Racism

I am convinced that a light supper, a good nights sleep, and a fine morning, have sometimes made a hero of the same man, who, by an indigestion, a restless night, and rainy morning, would have proved a coward. – Lord Chesterfield

Category:
Heroes/Heroism

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. – Clarence Thomas

Category:
best