I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin
I didnt do improv in college, I never performed, I didnt do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major. – Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. – Demetri Martin
So when you go to a set and you just fully trust everybody, you know how hard everybodys working, you know that the people doing it are good and have such a strong vision – thats exactly my experience on New Girl, and what my experience on Veronica Mars was like. Everybody was just so great. – Max Greenfield
I got this idea about being afraid to let go of something and being afraid of sinking into a state of almost anesthesia, where you have to trust other people. Just the paranoia of it all. And it seemed to suit the frenetic track. So I just wrote it out and, you know, said it. – Nick Rhodes