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Quote by Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

And of course I didnt make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Money
Author
Demetri Martin
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I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Birthday
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Time
category

Life is half spent before one knows what it is. – Proverb

Category:
Time

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. – Victor Hugo

Category:
Time

Youve got to stand up and do your own battles. My daddy taught me that a long time ago, that you fight your own battles. The only way to shut everybody up is to win. – Terry Bradshaw

Category:
Time

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. – Bertrand Russell

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

It isnt that they cant see the solution. It is that they cant see the problem. – G. K. Chesterton

Category:
Problems

The law is an adroit mixture of customs that are beneficial to society, and could be followed even if no law existed, and others that are of advantage to a ruling minority, but harmful to the masses of men, and can be enforced on them only by terror. – Peter Kropotkin, Words of a Rebel

Category:
Justice & Law

Sex – Enid Bagnold

Category:
Sex

We created a line of pet food called Nutrish thats made to human standards, and 100 percent of the proceeds go to animal rescue. One of our top-tier donors is the ASPCA, and they help us challenge animal shelters all across the country to get more animals placed in homes. – Rachael Ray

Category:
Food