Quote by Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Birthday
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Freedom
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Stand-up is like a row boat: its fun and romantic when youre choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat its not as enjoyable thats survival. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Romantic
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Other Quotes from
Time
category

Most of the time I dont have much fun. The rest of the time I dont have any fun at all. – Woody Allen

Category:
Time

The best way to fill time is to waste it. – Marguerite Duras

Category:
Time

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then Im neurotic as hell. Ill be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. – Sylvia Plath

Category:
Time

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. – Rabindranath Tagore

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral. – H. L. Mencken

Category:
Music

I viewed my fellow man not as a fallen angel, but as a risen ape. – Desmond Morris, The Naked Ape

Category:
Humankind

Baseball is drama with an endless run and an ever-changing cast. – Joe Garagiola, Baseball is a Funny Game

Category:
World Series

To think that the new economy is over is like somebody in London in 1830 saying the entire industrial revolution is over because some textile manufacturers in Manchester went broke. – Alvin Toffler

Category:
Business