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Quote by Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

Stand-up is like a row boat: its fun and romantic when youre choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat its not as enjoyable thats survival. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Romantic
Author
Demetri Martin
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Category:
good
Author
Demetri Martin
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The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you be prepared to have it on you forever because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Scrapbooking
Author
Demetri Martin
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I just got tired of being sick and tired and feeling down. Unfortunately, you dont realize this until youre getting sober but the reason why youre depressed all the time is its the drugs that are depressing you. – Steven Adler

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Every time theres a revolution, it comes from somebody reading a book about revolution. David Walker wrote a book and Nat Turner did his thing. – Mike Tyson

Category:
Time

The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and about all time. – George Bernard Shaw

Category:
Time

If I hold back, Im no good. Im no good. Id rather be good sometimes, than holding back all the time. – Janis Joplin

Category:
Time

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Death is a shadow that always follows the body. – English Proverb

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The last real movie stars were probably Redford and Newman. And things were different then. There wasnt this amazing amount of magazines and information about them. – George Clooney

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Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street. – Zig Ziglar

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Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. – Thomas Carlyle

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