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Quote by Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
Author
Demetri Martin
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I didnt do improv in college, I never performed, I didnt do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Government
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
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If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

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Time

It is even better to act quickly and err than to hesitate until the time of action is past. – Karl Von Clausewitz

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Time

The only time some people work like a horse is when the boss rides them. – Gabriel Heatter

Category:
Time

Laws are silent in time of war. – Marcus Tullius Cicero

Category:
Time

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No one person can possibly combine all the elements supposed to make up what everyone means by friendship. – Francis Marion Crawford

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Let us never forget that government is ourselves and not an alien power over us. The ultimate rulers of our democracy are not a President and senators and congressmen and government officials, but the voters of this country. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

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Why should we strive, with cynic frown, to knock their fairy castles down? – Eliza Cook

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God is looking for people to use, and if you can get usable, he will wear you out. The most dangerous prayer you can pray is this: Use me. – Rick Warren

Category:
God