Quote by Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

And of course I didnt make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Money
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The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
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Other Quotes from
Time
category

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. – W. C. Fields

Category:
Time

The time for action is now. Its never too late to do something. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Category:
Time

Every day a thread makes a skein in the year. – Dutch Proverb

Category:
Time

Time heals what reason cannot. – Seneca

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

Obedience is the fruit of faith. – Christina Rossetti

Category:
Faith

I long for the solitude
of a sunset at sea,
and the chill of the breeze
coming in with the eve.
For the motion of my boat,
as she swings on her rode,
and the beauty of the stars,
in the evenings last glow. – R.C. Gibbons

Category:
Sailing

The sailor is frankness, the landsman is finesse. Life is not a game with the sailor, demanding the long head – Herman Melville

Category:
Sailing

Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It is a way of entering into the quiet that is already there—buried under the 50,000 thoughts the average person thinks every day. – Deepak Chopra

Category:
Meditation