Quote by Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Freedom
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The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
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Other Quotes from
Time
category

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. – Thomas Jefferson

Category:
Time

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. – John F. Kennedy

Category:
Time

Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. – Carl Sandburg

Category:
Time

People say that if you find water rising up to your ankle, thats the time to do something about it, not when its around your neck. – Chinua Achebe

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

Always remember that striving and struggle precede success, even in the dictionary. – Sarah Ban Breathnach

Category:
Success

The body is ready to have babies. Nature wants it done then, when the body can handle it, not after 40, when the income can handle it. – Toni Morrison

Category:
Nature

Very few beings really seek knowledge in this world. Mortal or immortal, few really ASK. On the contrary, they try to wring from the unknown the answers they have already shaped in their own minds. – Anne Rice

Category:
Knowledge

In politics, it seems, retreat is honorable if dictated by military considerations and shameful if even suggested for ethical reasons. – Mary McCarthy

Category:
Politics