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Quote by Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes youre really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, youre saying: Hope I dont get chased today. Be nice to people in sneakers. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Hope
Author
Demetri Martin
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
Author
Demetri Martin
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The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you be prepared to have it on you forever because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Scrapbooking
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Time
category

New Years Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. – James Agate

Category:
Time

Youve got to stand up and do your own battles. My daddy taught me that a long time ago, that you fight your own battles. The only way to shut everybody up is to win. – Terry Bradshaw

Category:
Time

He who lets time rule him will live the life of a slave. – John Arthorne

Category:
Time

A man may speak very well in the House of Commons, and fail very completely in the House of Lords. There are two distinct styles requisite: I intend, in the course of my career, if I have time, to give a specimen of both. – Benjamin Disraeli

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. – Franklin D. Roosevelt, radio speech, 26 October 1939

Category:
Presidents Day

Speech of yourself ought to be seldom and well chosen. – Francis Bacon

Category:
Conversation

Maybe it is something to do with age, but I have become fonder of poetry than of prose. – Aung San Suu Kyi

Category:
Age

War, famine, poverty and oppression of the workers will continue while woman makes life cheap. They will cease only when she limits her reproductivity and human life is no longer a thing to be wasted. – Margaret Sanger

Category:
War