Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. – Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright
Babies dont need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… it pisses me off! Ill go over to a little baby and say What are you doing here? You havent worked a day in your life! – Steven Wright
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. – Steven Wright