The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius. – Julius “Big Julie” Weintraub
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. – Steven Wright
[Poker] exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great. – Walter Matthau
Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom. – V.P. Pappy
The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; it happens at the poker table all the time. – David Shoup
I must complain the cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand. – Jonathan Swift
Poker: the art of civilized bushwhacking. – Nick Dandalos, attributed
I believe in poker the way I believe in the American Dream. Poker is good for you. It enriches the soul, sharpens the intellect, heals the spirit, and — when played well, nourishes the wallet. – Lou Krieger
Poker is… a fascinating, wonderful, intricate adventure on the high seas of human nature. – David A. Daniel
Whether he likes it or not, a man’s character is stripped at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life. – Anthony Holden
The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent. – David Mamet
Poker is a microcosm of all we admire and disdain about capitalism and democracy. It can be rough-hewn or polished, warm or cold, charitable and caring, or hard and impersonal, fickle and elusive, but ultimately it is fair, and right, and just. – Lou Krieger
[Poker is] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency. – Raymond Chandler
Old card players never die, they just shuffle away. – Author Unknown
