You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 Rs only one begins with an R. – Dennis Miller
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. – Dennis Miller
I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years. – Dennis Miller
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and whats more life-affirming than cold, hard cash? – Dennis Miller
Heres my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the credit card and then they look at the name on the book jacket, then theres this look of such profound sympathy for you that you had to resort to this. It really is withering. – Carl Hiaasen