I know a man who doesnt pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car. – Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman wholl give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means youre in the wrong house, thats what it means. – Henny Youngman
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him. – Henny Youngman
So, I remember when I was a kid, I was waiting for my mom to come home when she was working late, and, you know, I was like, Oh my God, what happened to her? Is she OK? Did something happen to her getting in the car? I was a little kid. But those are actually early onsets of anxiety. – Vinny Guadagnino