Ive got all the money Ill ever need, if I die by four oclock. – Henny Youngman
I know a man who doesnt pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car. – Henny Youngman
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman wholl give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means youre in the wrong house, thats what it means. – Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman