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Quote by Joan Rivers
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. – Joan Rivers

Other quotes by Joan Rivers

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. – Joan Rivers

Category:
funny
Author
Joan Rivers
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Im Jewish. I dont work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. – Joan Rivers

Category:
God
Author
Joan Rivers
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. – James Thurber

Category:
funny

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, theyd be off TV. Theyre not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think wed know who she was? – Adam Carolla

Category:
funny

Certainly there are things in life that money cant buy, but its very funny – Did you ever try buying then without money? – Ogden Nash

Category:
funny

Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

What distinguishes those of us at the starting line from those of us on the couch is that we learn through running to take what the days gives us, what our body will allow us, and what our will can tolerate. – John Bingham

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The genius of the United States is not best or most in its executives or legislatures, nor in its ambassadors or authors or colleges, or churches, or parlors, nor even in its newspapers or inventors, but always most in the common people. – Walt Whitman

Category:
best

The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! – Henry Ward Beecher

Category:
Thanksgiving Day

Got teeth? Thank your dental hygienist. – Dental Saying

Category:
Dental