Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if youre funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. – Joan Rivers
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. – Joan Rivers
I enjoy life when things are happening. I dont care if its good things or bad things. That means youre alive. – Joan Rivers
I dont excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. – Joan Rivers
If you dont die of thirst, there are blessings in the desert. You can be pulled into limitlessness, which we all yearn for, or you can do the beauty of minutiae, the scrimshaw of tiny and precise. The sky is your ocean, and the crystal silence will uplift you like great gospel music, or Neil Young. – Anne Lamott