My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. – Erma Bombeck
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.” – Erma Bombeck
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub. – Erma Bombeck
If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair. – Erma Bombeck
Science is out of the reach of morals, for her eyes are fixed upon eternal truths. Art is out of the reach of morals, for her eyes are fixed upon things beautiful and immortal and ever-changing. To morals belong the lower and less intellectual spheres. – Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, 1891