What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. – Dave Barry
In college, Yuppies major in business administration. If to meet certain requirements they have to take a liberal arts course, they take Business Poetry. – Dave Barry
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. – Dave Barry
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. – Dave Barry