What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. – Dave Barry
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. – Dave Barry
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry
What, exactly, is the Internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a “modem” can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo. – Dave Barry
Its fairness to say those who work hard, get up in the morning, cut their cloth – in other words we can only afford to have one or two children because we dont earn enough. They pay their taxes and they want to know that the same kind of decision-making is taking place for those on benefits. – Iain Duncan Smith