The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons. – David Sedaris
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. – David Sedaris
I love things made out of animals. Its just so funny to think of someone saying, I need a letter opener. I guess Ill have to kill a deer. – David Sedaris
After a few months in my parents basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. – David Sedaris
I guess as long as people think of me for different ages, Ill trust their opinion. I remember noticing one year that Michelle Monaghan played 34 and 19, so Ive kind of clung to that as my justification that I can be Jake Gyllenhaals wife and a freshman in college in the same year. – Anna Kendrick