I love things made out of animals. Its just so funny to think of someone saying, I need a letter opener. I guess Ill have to kill a deer. – David Sedaris
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. – David Sedaris
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Its odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. Youll have a nice time, then two years later youll be like, There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg? – David Sedaris
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After a few months in my parents basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. – David Sedaris
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This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, I know you. Youre that wee golfer, arent you? I say, Yeah, thats me. They say, Keep it up, wee man. Its very funny and thats why I want to stay here as long as possible. – Rory McIlroy
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