I love things made out of animals. Its just so funny to think of someone saying, I need a letter opener. I guess Ill have to kill a deer. – David Sedaris
I havent got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. – David Sedaris
I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they wont be offended. – David Sedaris
After a few months in my parents basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. – David Sedaris
Its funny how I use social media because I dont use it to promote my restaurants that much. I use it for social issues and I think thats what its for. I do a few things – I mess around with music a lot because thats a passion of mine. If something strikes me and I want to share it, I do. – Tom Colicchio