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Quote by David Sedaris
I love things made out of animals. Its just so funny to think of s

I love things made out of animals. Its just so funny to think of someone saying, I need a letter opener. I guess Ill have to kill a deer. – David Sedaris

Other quotes by David Sedaris

Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. – David Sedaris

Category:
Truth
Author
David Sedaris
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I havent got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. – David Sedaris

Category:
Change
Author
David Sedaris
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

I dont know now if Im funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something thats funny. – Craig Ferguson

Category:
funny

Only bad golfers are lucky. Theyre the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky. – Lee Trevino

Category:
funny

Thats my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. – Joe Rogan

Category:
funny

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. Thats relativity. – Albert Einstein

Category:
funny

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You must recognize, embrace, and be honest about what is real for you today and allow that understanding to inform the choices you make. Only then will you be able to build the future of your dreams. – Suze Orman

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With several different kinds of poetry to choose from, a man would decide that he would like best to be an epic poet, and he would set out, in conscious determination, on an epic poem. – Lascelles Abercrombie

Category:
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Hope thou not much, and fear thou not at all. – Algernon Charles Swinburne

Category:
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You know, I look like a woman but I think like a man. And in this world of business, that has helped me a lot. Because by the time they think that I dont know whats goin on, I then got the money, and gone. – Dolly Parton

Category:
Business