Im a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someones life. – Mitch Hedberg
If my kid couldnt draw Id make sure that my kitchen magnets didnt work. – Mitch Hedberg

Im a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someones life. – Mitch Hedberg
If my kid couldnt draw Id make sure that my kitchen magnets didnt work. – Mitch Hedberg
Yknow, you cant please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show. – Mitch Hedberg
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when Im upside down. – Mitch Hedberg