Mitch Hedberg's Quote - I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. – Mitch He

Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch He

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means… its dirty. – Mitch Hedberg

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Im a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someones life. – Mitch Hedberg

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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hedberg

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Other Quotes from

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My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on. – Jennifer Aniston

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Ive actually tried to roast somebody that I dont like, and it doesnt go well. Either theyre a bad sport or Im not as funny as I could be. – Jeff Ross

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I was asked to act when I couldnt act. I was asked to sing Funny Face when I couldnt sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldnt dance – and do all kinds of things I wasnt prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it. – Audrey Hepburn

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Every mans dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. – Jerry Lewis

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Random Quotes

Eating when youre not hungry and taking in that amount of food is exhausting. – Chris Hemsworth

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Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing. – Rowan Atkinson

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Suffering by nature or chance never seems so painful as suffering inflicted on us by the arbitrary will of another. – Arthur Schopenhauer

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Ive been fortunate over my career to make a little history on the 16th hole at Augusta National. – Jack Nicklaus

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