Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? – Mitch Hedberg
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when Im upside down. – Mitch Hedberg

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? – Mitch Hedberg
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when Im upside down. – Mitch Hedberg
I like refried beans. Thats why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe theyre just as good and were just wasting time. You dont have to fry them again after all. – Mitch Hedberg
Its interesting because a lot of my 16-year-old kids friends know me from Wedding Crashers, and not so much Bond. My kids have a good laugh. I was 20 then. The look I had then was the look that a lot of their friends are assuming now. They think its cool. What goes around comes around. – Jane Seymour
Men are better when riding, more just and more understanding, and more alert and more at ease and more under-taking, and better knowing of all countries and all passages; in short and long all good customs and manners cometh thereof, and the health of man and of his soul. – Attributed to Edward Plantagenet