I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg
Every time I go and shave, I assume theres someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, Im gonna go shave, too. – Mitch Hedberg
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg
Every time I go and shave, I assume theres someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, Im gonna go shave, too. – Mitch Hedberg
I like refried beans. Thats why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe theyre just as good and were just wasting time. You dont have to fry them again after all. – Mitch Hedberg
Im a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someones life. – Mitch Hedberg