I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg
Id like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. – Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg
Id like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. – Mitch Hedberg
I like refried beans. Thats why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe theyre just as good and were just wasting time. You dont have to fry them again after all. – Mitch Hedberg
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any cars headlights and tell you exactly which way its coming. – Mitch Hedberg