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Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Every time I go and shave, I assume theres someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, Im gonna go shave, too. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Time
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head aint funny! – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
amazing
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I love blackjack. But Im not addicted to gambling. Im addicted to sitting in a semi circle. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Love
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar. – Susan Orlean

Category:
Birthday

Its odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. Youll have a nice time, then two years later youll be like, There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg? – David Sedaris

Category:
Birthday

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday… I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldnt let me – Homeland Security. – Art Buchwald

Category:
Birthday

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her. – Guy Johnson

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

The best is the enemy of the good. – Voltaire

Category:
best

How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all colour-blind? – Author Unknown

Category:
Reality

Leisure is the mother of Philosophy. – Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan, 1651

Category:
Philosophy

My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations. – Michael J. Fox

Category:
Happiness