Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Every time I go and shave, I assume theres someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, Im gonna go shave, too. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Time
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I like refried beans. Thats why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe theyre just as good and were just wasting time. You dont have to fry them again after all. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
good
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Im a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someones life. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Life
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I went to a rare live Van Dyke show and met him there. And then he came to a show of mine and we spoke back stage. The third time was at Brian Wilsons birthday party. – Matthew Sweet

Category:
Birthday

My brother got a .22 for his 12th birthday I got a .22. He got a hunting knife I got a hunting knife. – Stephanie Cutter

Category:
Birthday

Well, I started conducting kind of by accident. I wanted to give myself a special birthday present for my fortieth birthday, and I was living in San Francisco at the time and I started attending some of the concerts and then simply dropping hints. – Bobby McFerrin

Category:
Birthday

I like to go to anybody elses birthday, and if Im invited Im a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really dont care. – Mikhail Baryshnikov

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

My own experience is use the tools that are out there. Use the digital world. But never lose sight of the need to reach out and talk to other people who dont share your view. Listen to them and see if you can find a way to compromise. – Colin Powell

Category:
Experience

It was a time when only the dead smiled, happy in their peace. – Anna Akhmatova

Category:
Death

Theres not a business or a master plan as far as Im concerned. I take it week by week, and I dont think you ever expect to be able to do the next thing. – Lauren Conrad

Category:
Business

I work to stay alive. – Bette Davis

Category:
work