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Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, Youre gonna have to move, youre blocking a fire exit. As though if there was a fire, I wasnt gonna run. If youre flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Business
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head aint funny! – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
amazing
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I like refried beans. Thats why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe theyre just as good and were just wasting time. You dont have to fry them again after all. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
good
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape. – Samuel Johnson

Category:
Birthday

I worked at an ice cream parlor called Chadwicks. We wore old-timey outfits and had to bang a drum, play a kazoo, and sing Happy Birthday to people while giving them free birthday sundaes. Lots of ice cream scooping and $1 tips. – Amy Poehler

Category:
Birthday

Ive looked after my money. As I started working around my third birthday, my first check went straight to the bank. – Samantha Barks

Category:
Birthday

My mom wont let me buy high-fashion stuff unless its TK Maxx or a birthday occasion. – Chloe Moretz

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

Im such a girl for the living room. I really like to stay in my nest and not move. I travel in my mind, and that thats a rigorous state of journeying for me. My body isnt that interested in moving from place to place. – Bell Hooks

Category:
Travel

Period costume films are fun to discover, but theyre not relatable. Its more, Wow, thats cool – did it really look like that back then? Whereas with a comedy, youre like, Yeah, thats me, thats my friends. No matter what, I want people to relate. – Paul Feig

Category:
cool

We are like a woman with a difficult pregnancy. We have to rebuild the social classes in Egypt, and we must change the way things were. – Naguib Mahfouz

Category:
Change

Follow your dreams, work hard, practice and persevere. Make sure you eat a variety of foods, get plenty of exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle. – Sasha Cohen

Category:
Dreams