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Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Yknow, you cant please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Time
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Morning
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I dont have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman whod be mad at me for saying that. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
dating
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

We were probably the last people in the country to get a VCR and we didnt have cable. There wasnt any admiration of glamour, no, I want to look like them or have that lifestyle, because everyone in my town had the same lifestyle. So I didnt think, Ooh, a movie stars birthday! I just thought, What? – Christina Hendricks

Category:
Birthday

I can put my legs behind my head and sing Happy Birthday. Because thats something that me and my friends used to do when we were in gymnastics class as kids, and I can still do it. I was doing it since I was 8 and 9. They used to call me Gumby. Very bendy. – Emmy Rossum

Category:
Birthday

My mom FedExes a red velvet cake she makes from scratch to me every birthday. – Molly Sims

Category:
Birthday

Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctors appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops. – Sloane Crosley

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody elses expense. And I find that thats just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody elses feelings. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
funny

Great Britain has lost an Empire and has not yet found a role. – Dean Acheson

Category:
Empire

Oh what lies lurk in kisses! – Heinrich Heine

Category:
Love :: Kisses

Who is the most sensible person? The one who finds what is to their own advantage in all that happens to them. – Johann von Goethe

Category:
Common Sense