As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am. – Erma Bombeck
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. Youre not out of it until the computer says youre out of it. – Erma Bombeck
I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle. – Erma Bombeck
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.” – Erma Bombeck