Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. – George Carlin
If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. – George Carlin
Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. – George Carlin
Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were having a swan. You get more stuffing. – George Carlin