Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? – Elayne Boosler
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food. – Elayne Boosler
Wouldnt it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? – Elayne Boosler
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Its a whole different way of thinking. – Elayne Boosler
Im an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me thats not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver. Thats all I thought about. I worked for a race team when I was 15 and I traveled with them. – Dax Shepard