Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? – Elayne Boosler
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food. – Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didnt have that rule when Jesus was born. – Elayne Boosler