I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didnt work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality. – Mitch Hedberg
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any cars headlights and tell you exactly which way its coming. – Mitch Hedberg
Rice is great if youre really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. – Mitch Hedberg
Moreover, behind this vague tendency to treat religion as a side issue in modern life, there exists a strong body of opinion that is actively hostile to Christianity and that regards the destruction of positive religion as absolutely necessary to the advance of modern culture. – Christopher Dawson