I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didnt work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality. – Mitch Hedberg
Rice is great if youre really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. – Mitch Hedberg
Id like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. – Mitch Hedberg
One of the many reasons for the bewildering and tragic character of human existence is the fact that social organization is at once necessary and fatal. Men are forever creating such organizations for their own convenience and forever finding themselves the victims of their home-made monsters. – Aldous Huxley