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Quote by Mitch Hedberg
Every time I go and shave, I assume theres someone else on the pla

Every time I go and shave, I assume theres someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, Im gonna go shave, too. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didnt work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
good
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I like refried beans. Thats why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe theyre just as good and were just wasting time. You dont have to fry them again after all. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
good
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I dont have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman whod be mad at me for saying that. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
dating
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Other Quotes from
Time
category

The long time to come when I shall not exist has more effect on me than this short present time, which nevertheless seems endless. – Marcus Tullius Cicero

Category:
Time

Yet, when child sex offenders are brought to justice and serve time for their offenses, they are often released into unsuspecting communities and left free to resume their sexual attacks. – Bob Ney

Category:
Time

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. – Harriet Beecher Stowe

Category:
Time

The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, “Spring back or Fall in.” – Dave Beard, @Raqhun)

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

I have a lot of sympathy for young people because I realize how disturbed I was. How would I deal with life in the future? What would I do for a living? – Clyde Tombaugh

Category:
Future

One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy. – Scarlett Johansson

Category:
best

This age thinks better of a gilded fool Than of a threadbare saint in wisdoms school. – Thomas Dekker

Category:
Wisdom

Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. – Paul Gray

Category:
Cats