Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. – Robert Benchley
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of. – Robert Benchley
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. – Robert Benchley
I like cats…. When I meet a cat, I say, “Poor Pussy!” and stoop down and tickle the side of its head; and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers; and all is gentleness and peace. – Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), 1889