Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. – Ambrose Bierce
Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. – Ambrose Bierce
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion. – Ambrose Bierce
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. – Ambrose Bierce