My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash. – Henny Youngman
Shes been married so many times she has rice marks on her face. – Henny Youngman
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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman wholl give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means youre in the wrong house, thats what it means. – Henny Youngman
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I think theres a suspicion in the South of people putting on airs. You see it in most successful Southern politicians, but you also see it in someone like Richard Petty, who may be a multimillionaire stock car driver, but hes also beloved because he has a nice self-deprecatory way about him. – John Shelton Reed
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