Can you imagine a guy breaking into your car, and he steals your guitar case cause he thinks its a guitar, and he gets it home and opens it up and theres a rake inside it, an electric toilet plunger and a dog skull? That actually happened. – Eugene Chadbourne
I cant find my car keys in the morning. Trying to get out of my house is a nightmare. Wheres my wallet? Where are my keys? I have to go find a missing person. – Anthony LaPaglia
Its time to stop the raid on the Social Security trust fund and start allowing Americans to invest their Social Security taxes in personal savings accounts. – Mike Pence
So foolish is the heart of man that he ever puts his hope in the future, learning nothing from his past errors and fancying that tomorrow must be better than today. – Mika Waltari