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Quotes by

Lenny Bruce

The reason Im in this business, I assume all performers are — its Look at me, Ma! Its acceptance, you know — Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, youll show off till youre exhausted; but if your mother goes, Ptshew! – Lenny Bruce

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. – Lenny Bruce

A lot of people say to me, Why did you kill Christ? I dunno… it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know. We killed him because he didnt want to become a doctor, thats why we killed him. – Lenny Bruce

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it. – Lenny Bruce

Todays comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Todays comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes hes telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week. – Lenny Bruce

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can – Lenny Bruce

The liberals can understand everything but people who dont understand them. – Lenny Bruce

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, Id be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. – Lenny Bruce

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. – Lenny Bruce

There are never enough I Love Yous. – Lenny Bruce

When youre eight years old nothing is your business. – Lenny Bruce

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You cant fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour – ha ha ha ha ha – theyll take you away, man. You cant. – Lenny Bruce

Communism is like one big phone company. – Lenny Bruce

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. – Lenny Bruce

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls. – Lenny Bruce

Take away the right to say “fuck” and you take away the right to say “fuck the government.” – Lenny Bruce