A lot of people say to me, Why did you kill Christ? I dunno… it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know. We killed him because he didnt want to become a doctor, thats why we killed him. – Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, Id be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. – Lenny Bruce
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. – Lenny Bruce
The liberals can understand everything but people who dont understand them. – Lenny Bruce
Two little girls, on their way home from Sunday school, were solemnly discussing the lesson. “Do you believe there is a devil?” asked one. “No,” said the other promptly. “It’s like Santa Claus: it’s your father.” – Nebelspalter (Zurich, Switzerland), quoted in The Literary Digest, Vol.106, 1930