Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. – David Sedaris
I havent got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. – David Sedaris
After a few months in my parents basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. – David Sedaris
I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. – David Sedaris