After a few months in my parents basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. – David Sedaris
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. – David Sedaris
When I look at a lot of older stuff that Ive written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. – David Sedaris
Its odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. Youll have a nice time, then two years later youll be like, There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg? – David Sedaris
If you ask Zen people they will say; tea is not something that you pour with unawareness and drink like any other drink. It is not a drink, it is meditation; it is prayer. So they listen to the kettle creating a melody, and in that listening they become more silent, more alert. – Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh