Its odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. Youll have a nice time, then two years later youll be like, There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg? – David Sedaris
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. – David Sedaris
I havent got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. – David Sedaris
I love things made out of animals. Its just so funny to think of someone saying, I need a letter opener. I guess Ill have to kill a deer. – David Sedaris
The wish to acquire more is admittedly a very natural and common thing and when men succeed in this they are always praised rather than condemned. But when they lack the ability to do so and yet want to acquire more at all costs, they deserve condemnation for their mistakes. – Niccolo Machiavelli