I havent got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. – David Sedaris
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. – David Sedaris
After a few months in my parents basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. – David Sedaris
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons. – David Sedaris
Uncontrolled, the hunger and thirst after God may become an obstacle, cutting off the soul from what it desires. If a man would travel far along the mystic road, he must learn to desire God intensely but in stillness, passively and yet with all his heart and mind and strength. – Aldous Huxley