I havent got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. – David Sedaris
My family isnt really all that different from anyone elses. Well, maybe theyre a bit more entertaining. – David Sedaris
After a few months in my parents basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. – David Sedaris
I love things made out of animals. Its just so funny to think of someone saying, I need a letter opener. I guess Ill have to kill a deer. – David Sedaris